Read books Two and Three of this ? I rather scratch my nails on a blackboard instead.

Book One ? A whole different story.  Read on.

Though I was months & months behind on the book it  coincided nicely with the Kindle I was gifted. And Fifty was the first book I bought on that device. Don’t judge me!

In my defence I had downloaded books before that. The free books that all Kindles start. Those that I call the ‘books of good intentions’.  You know Anna Karenina, Portrait of Dorian Grey, The Idiots and the like.


Those lay unread, while I devoured Fifty Shades of Grey. (ok judge me). We have all been there. You are so sure you will order the salad but end up with a full biriyani chicken dinner.

The book annoyed me, made me seethe, made me blush and it gave me an opinion to air.

I belong to the school that considers this a romance. A romance that needs to be re-written.

How ? Easy. E.L James goes back to school to understand what Reading Writing and Composition really means, and then, grow up.

And now comes the movie. Why would anyone make a movie of this ? Its so blah !

And what’s with the explosion of Fifty Shades inspired fashion and makeup sets ?

This is a makeup blog (primarily) and should contain my insights on the makeup right ? Wrong.

When I couldn’t be bothered to buy the makeup inspired by my most fav movie of 2014, Disney’s Frozen, I am definitely not buying the Fifty Shades makeup lines.  Not for any intellectual stand on it, only  because the colours are so frikkin dull. Yes thats what I said. A movie about BDSM inspired really dull colour lines. Go figure.

So I have decided to digress and write about the movie instead. I think Sam Taylor did a great job, inspite of EL James control over the ‘script’ (laughable). I am curious to watch the sequels and appreciate  that Mark Kermode (BBC film critic) didn’t do his usual rant  and was moderate about the critique. It kind of echoed what I felt.

Not EVERYTHING was bad. The book was TERRIBLE the movie isn’t.

  1. Personally I liked Dakota Johnson as Anastasia. In the book I wanted to slap her every few pages.
  2. I loved the director’s little salute to Elizabeth Bennet from BBCs Pride and Prejudice. (side note- I absolutely LOVE that version of P&P and will never accept an alternate Lizzie Bennet or Darcy.)
  3. I am uncomfortable with too much sex or nudity so I was happy with what the movie gave me.
  4. The story & script aside (appalling) I would have liked a more balanced approach to nudity. It was an in-equal division that pissed me off.
  5. The whipping scene made me cry and I would have liked a MUCH stronger Anastasia in that scene.  The movie could have taken a stand even though the book was as weak. In the lead up to and the aftermath of that whipping episode.
  6. The pictures chosen, in the movie, to illustrate what a Sub was, were horrific and demeaning and didn’t make sense a virginal Anastasia did not absolutely freak out.
  7. I am not EVEN going to comment on Christian Grey’s stalker like approach, it creeped me out in the book and on screen. Pray it doesn’t give unbalanced men anymore fodder for their sick fantasies.

All in all-A flawed movie of an absolutely terrible book.

I watched it with a bottle of wine, chocolate popcorn and a girl friend. And like Frozen, I ached not having my sister with me when watching the movie.

Frozen and Fifty Shades of Grey – films made for Sisterly bonding.